Author Topic: The official Modculture football thread  (Read 388516 times)

greenstreet

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1530 on: September 12, 2020, 11:18:50 AM »
SPFL Breaking News:


St Mirren have announced that debutant goalkeeper Simon Bond will be wearing the gloves for Saturday's fixture against Hibernian.

Manager Jim Goodwin described the surprise move as "Mainly a marketing ploy to sell some muscle fit goalie jerseys".

When asked if he was confident he could keep a clean sheet, Bond replied: "It's been years since I last wet the bed".

 ;D ;D ;D Eagerly expecting fresh statements here from the last St Mirren's signing!

The Laird of Enfield

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1531 on: September 12, 2020, 08:22:09 PM »

Final score St Mirren 0  Hibernian 3


A tough debut fur the youngster.

greenstreet

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1532 on: September 13, 2020, 09:57:01 AM »

Final score St Mirren 0  Hibernian 3


A tough debut fur the youngster.

 :'(

The Laird of Enfield

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1533 on: September 13, 2020, 04:40:03 PM »

With three St Mirren keepers still having to self-isolate due to Covid-19, Bond has a chance to redeem himself against Champions Celtic on Wednesday night.

greenstreet

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1534 on: September 13, 2020, 06:11:49 PM »

With three St Mirren keepers still having to self-isolate due to Covid-19, Bond has a chance to redeem himself against Champions Celtic on Wednesday night.

No doubt he'll be up to the challenge  ;)

Simon Bond

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1535 on: September 13, 2020, 09:32:50 PM »
  Farce of the SPFL and situation at GHR . .

  GK Alnwick tested positive to covert-19 despite having no symptoms , second GK Believed to be Lyness was found to have 'the illness' (or had tested positive at least to the Kary Muliss PCR test which he won a Noble prize for developing for lung cancer and said at the time , in 1986 , that the test should not be used for a virus .But on an almost planet with almost science they use it for guess what , yup a virus check ).

The Club , then considered third choice GK  Urminsky , however he had been wearing aerofit GK tops which violate anti-social distancing rules as they are too close to the body .

The Club then considered the 4th choice GK who remains unnamed but he was found to have met a family member without an A or an R in their name . He had also been to see a friend with red hair despite the fact that this had not been done on the second Monday after pancake Tuesday and the other person was under 5'11" . . Had he been a cat owner , he would have been exempt from all of the above as long as the cat was not ginger , obviously .

The Club were then left to consider an out field player , it was then recalled that wee Anxiuos had been an excellent GK when he was an outfield player . However , the decision was made to bring GK coach , Clangers , out of retirement as a Gk and register him again as a player .

Then Hertz came forward and offered one of their GKs as a replacement . Hips were delighted with this .

Despite begging the SPFL to postpone the game , Club manager , Jim Goodwin was told that 'this was not an option' , the kind of move that the CCP would have been proud of as the country slides towards tyranny . .

Simon Bond has never been a professional fitba player as his areo fit tops preclude him from doing so as they breach currently enforced , anti-social distancing rules and of course the fact that he owns a ginger cat , obviously . .


l hope this helps  . .
I wont make any deals with you , I've resigned. .
I wont be pushed, filed , stamped , indexed , briefed , debriefed OR NUMBERED!

The Laird of Enfield

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1536 on: September 14, 2020, 12:10:25 AM »

Ah huv donated 12.50 tae the Jim Goodwin Grecian 2000 Appeal Fund in order tae watch Wednesday night's game oan PPV.


Hope this helps.


Simon Bond

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1537 on: September 14, 2020, 05:13:48 AM »
 As Wednesday night game approaches,  one imagines Glasgow Celtic FC ParkheadLtd , starting to lick their lips , Neil Lennon , phoning up the now draconian,  SPFl , enquiring about the colour of the Hertz stand in GKs cat , and if he happened to meet his maiden auntie , who doesn't have an R in her name , at an undisclosed location , in a postcode that does not have a Tesco in it , obviously ( other supermarkets are available , even though l am not the B* C).

Hope this helps. .
« Last Edit: September 14, 2020, 06:12:12 PM by Simon Bond »
I wont make any deals with you , I've resigned. .
I wont be pushed, filed , stamped , indexed , briefed , debriefed OR NUMBERED!

greenstreet

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1538 on: September 14, 2020, 10:20:37 AM »
Helpful indeed  ;D

The Laird of Enfield

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Re: The official Modculture football thread
« Reply #1539 on: September 16, 2020, 10:43:26 PM »

No the best 12.50 ah've ever spent.


Kept expectin' some ay the cardboard cut-oots in the stand tae leave before the final whistle.